Saturday, September 3, 2016

saturday reflections



I poured milk in my tea this morning and watched the creamy clouds billow up from the bottom of my cup, stormy at first, and then placid and uniform like a lake.  It sounds weird, but it's the little things like these that keep me going. 
 During the week, life pushes me along in a swift current of sound, and light, and social interaction, and deadlines.  It's all hurry, hurry, hurry, don't forget, hurry.
 :
via pinterest
And when the weekend comes, I withdraw into my shell and avoid human interaction. I watch my tea while I pour milk into it and I revel in the hours of freedom from duty.  A pile of books.  My latest knitting project.  A story plot waiting to hatch.  My latest wild idea forming in the back of my brain.  It's one of the best feelings in the world.

It's not that I don't love my crazy life, my classes, my friends.
It's just, the day isn't long enough to write for an hour, to read for an hour, to sit on the hammock and stare up at the light filtering through the leaves.

 :
via pinterest
And by the end of the week, I am exhausted, not physically really.  It's more like my soul needs a vacation from this concrete, rushing, unyielding world.
Before it fades into a shriveled shell.  Forgotten and abandoned.

But sometimes I feel bad for retreating and hiding.  This is a rare opportunity to spend time with friends and family.  To catch up on assignments from the week before.  To clean my room and make dutiful phone calls to people who don't know my name or that I might literally die without books.  
And I feel like a bad friend for making up excuses for not going out and avoiding conversations with strangers and not wanting to leave my cozy little den.
 :
via pinterest
Sometimes I wish I could split myself into two people.
Me, and the person people expect me to be--the person I need to be for other people.

xoxo,
  Lizzy

10 comments:

  1. Can I hug this post a million times? Because I totally feel this. 100%. I end the week and start the week just drained, and I feel like I can never recover. Everything is overwhelming and ajskdlf; it's just exhausting. So glad to know that I'm not the only one, but yet it makes me sad that so many people go through the struggle. :/

    You can do the thing! <3

    // katie grace
    a writer's faith

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Aww, you're so sweet Katie! I know what you mean! It's like, I don't want other people to have to feel the drainingness that is being an introvert in an extroverted world, but at the same time, it's good to know you're not the onlyone.

      We can do it! <3

      Lizzy

      Delete
  2. I 100% recognize this feeling. This was me last year... just keep slugging through, dividing your time+energy as best as you can... and it will, eventually, get better. :) I think it's a teenage stage... you'll come out okay on the other side. I promise.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Olivia! It's encouraging to hear that other people have dealt with this before. I hope it's something I learn to balance as I get older. (-:

      <3
      Lizzy

      Delete
  3. I know this feeling! I need so much time alone, but then I feel bad for not being with people. You summed it up so nicely.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Introverts unite!... From their houses via the internet... XD Thank you, I know what you mean though. It's hard to balance social life and recharging by yourself.

      Delete
  4. I know what you mean when you say you want to be two people. I have often experienced some of the feelings you mentioned above. It feels impossible to have time to relax, and then keep up my social life, which is crazy. I hope you find out how to be those two different people in one person (yourself). (sends a hug)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. GIRL, SAMEEEE!!! This week a friend was like, 'let's hang out this Saturday!' and I was like "okayyyy, cool, I'll check my schedule and get back to you." Because I really want to hang out 'cause I think she's a really fun person, but at the same time I'm like, 'I need some time and space to breath before the week starts again...' It's crazy trying to juggle the two. I hope things get a little easier for you too! *returns the hug*

      Delete
  5. WOW YES. YES TO LITERALLY EVERYTHING UP THERE. OMG. this is literal me right now I feel...and FGHJKL WHAT A TORTURE TO FEEL LIKE THIS IT'S LIKE BEING A SMALL ROOM IN THE DARK AND I WANT TO LEAVE BUT I KEEP BUMPING INTO STUFF AND FALLING DOWN AND HURTING MYSELF AND OUCH I WANT TO GET OUUUTTTT. << very coherent but yes you feel me?? man. this hits home. so hard. <3

    don't mind if i copy/paste this post into my heart :'''')

    lotsalove,
    abbiee

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. GIRL!!! YES I FEEL YA'! Aww, your comments always make me smile. Seriously. I exaggerate not. <3 It is a very frustrating predicament!

      lotsaloveinreturn,

      Lizzy

      Delete

Please share your thoughts with me! I LOVE to connect with my readers, and I promise I don't bite.

xoxo Lizzy

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...