Thursday, September 7, 2017

I Should Be Studying...

I have fifteen minutes till I have to gallop to my first class of the day, two essays to read before my third class, and an upcoming interview which I'm trying to ignore.  Apparently conducting an interview is more stressful than being the subject of one.  Who would've thought?
via Pinterest
One reason I'm here instead of reading American Gothic Literature is that I MISS YOU GUYS and I just wanted to drop a few lines to assure you that I do NOT intend to abandon this blog over the next two years.

Two years.  I'm also writing this because only two years from now I will be done with this degree and figuring out what to do next in life.  I'm not gonna lie, I'm afraid of what will happen when I am no longer within the safe confines of University class schedules and teachers guiding you through the themes of literature. If only they were as clear in life as they are in literature.

Three days ago I was complaining to myself about adulting.  I never had to cook three meals a day or meal plan or figure out my budget for entertainment and outings before.  I never had to worry about being good enough to keep a job that I had to work to get in the first place, even if it's just washing dishes for three hours after class.  The thing is, this isn't actually adulting I don't think.  This is the fun part.  This is where I get to take risks and make mistakes and learn new things and be in an environment where professionals are paid to care what and how I think.  I am scared of two years from now.

Four years ago I tiptoed into my first college class, a shy, waif-ish child.  And I fell in love with learning all over again.  Je suis, tu es, il, elle est, nous sommes, vous etes, ils, elles sont... The mind, I realized, was like the universe, an ever expanding being full of undiscovered potential.  Here my ideals are safe from destruction and pollution and people care.  My script analysis book states that Hamlet was the same way when he left the University at Wittenburg.  I don't think I risk getting run through with a poisoned sword or involuntarily killing everyone I love, but I still fear the harsh reality that will beat me up two years from now.

My time is up, I must go learn the anatomy of a 'braided essay.' If you made it through this incredibly emo post, thank you for listening, and please tell me what you've been up to since we last talked! 

xoxo
   Lizzy

5 comments:

  1. I'm glad your not abandoning your blog! I understand what your going through. I didn't go to college though so I think your doing better then me. This is the first year I am properly adulting. There are so many things you don't even think about.
    It's tough, but you got this!

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    1. Skyeee!!! I always love reading your comments on my posts, they make my day. Urggg, adulting though. It feels so unreal doesn't it? I feel like an impostor most of the time when I do things that are related to adulthood. Like, I still feel like I'm 15 sometimes?!
      Good luck to you as well! Being an Adult with a capital A is a feat in and of itself.
      <3 xoxo
      Lizzy

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    2. Also, umm I'm pretty sure college is like the easy part? I seriously admire anyone who is courageous enough to beat their own path and do their thing. That's pretty goals ;P

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  2. "This is where I get to take risks and make mistakes and learn new things" lovelovelovelove this quote! I feel this way, too ... I'm stretching my wings out a little bit and exploring and reveling in the freedom that I have because of how old (young?) I am ... I'm trying to make the most of this stage of life - since we only get it once! Cheers to you, Lizzy! :)

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    1. THANK YOU OLIVIA! You always leave the most fabulous comments <3 Hooray for exploration and freedom and all the thing that our short and marvelous youth brings! It kind of makes you incredibly happy and scared and in awe of being alive, doesn't it? I feel like it's the most paradoxical stage of life, this liminal phase, but also kind of magical.
      Cheers to you as well, Oliva! Sending so much love and encouragement your way,
      xoxo
      Lizzy

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Please share your thoughts with me! I LOVE to connect with my readers, and I promise I don't bite.

xoxo Lizzy

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